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Why does it feel so devastating when your friend cancels dinner plans at the last minute and you end up sobbing in your car? ?

**Oxytocin withdrawal**: When a friend cancels plans, our brain experiences a sudden drop in oxytocin, often referred to as the "cuddle hormone," which can lead to feelings of sadness and rejection.

**Social rejection**: Our brain processes social rejection, including last-minute cancelations, similarly to physical pain, which can cause emotional distress.

**Dopamine crash**: Cancelled plans can lead to a decrease in dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, contributing to feelings of disappointment and frustration.

**Loss aversion**: Humans tend to fear loss more than we value gain, which is why cancelled plans can feel more devastating than the initial excitement of making plans.

**Emotional contagion**: When someone cancels plans, we may "catch" their negative emotions, such as anxiety or stress, which can amplify our own emotional response.

**Social identity theory**: Our sense of self is often tied to our social connections, making cancelled plans feel like a threat to our identity and self-worth.

**Unfinished emotional business**: When plans are cancelled, unresolved emotions from previous experiences can resurface, intensifying our emotional response.

**Neurotransmitter imbalance**: The sudden change in plans can disrupt our neurotransmitter balance, leading to feelings of anxiety, sadness, or frustration.

**Heart rate synchronization**: Our heart rate can synchronize with that of our friends when we're in close proximity, making cancelled plans feel like a disruption to this physiological connection.

**Expectation vs.

reality**: The gap between our expected outcome (a fun dinner with friends) and the actual outcome (cancelled plans) can lead to intense disappointment.

**Personal investment**: The more we've invested time, effort, or resources into making plans, the more devastating the cancellation feels.

**Sense of control**: When plans are cancelled, we may feel a loss of control over our environment and social interactions, leading to feelings of frustration and powerlessness.

**Rumination**: After cancelled plans, our brain may engage in negative thought patterns, like ruminating on the reasons behind the cancellation, exacerbating our emotional response.

**Mirror neurons**: Our brain's mirror neurons can simulate the emotions and actions of others, making us more empathetic but also more susceptible to emotional contagion when plans are cancelled.

**Evolutionary roots**: The emotional response to cancelled plans may be rooted in our evolutionary past, where social exclusion or rejection could lead to physical harm or even death.

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